Topics: Navigating Holiday Gatherings & Special Occations, Well Spouse Association, Traveling

If you only have energy for one article:

Navigating Holiday Gatherings and Special Occations

Holidays may look different now, but they can still be filled with love and meaningful moments. By focusing on connection and adapting to your loved one's needs, you can create cherished memories together.  You can do that through things like: 

• Adapt activities to suit your loved one's abilities. 

• Focus on creating positive experiences and celebrating small joys. 

• Remember that your presence matters most. 

• Have someone take pictures to help with reflection later. 

There are also logistical steps that can help, such as: 

• Simplify anything you can: decorations, meals, and activities to reduce triggers. 

• Consider smaller gatherings or shorter visits. 

• Work with your friends and family; ask for the help. 

• Create a quiet retreat space. (Our mantra is “It is ok to step away”) 

• Have a backup plan in case things don't go as expected. 

• Take care of yourself and ask for help when needed. 

• Be sure to consider the impact of travel, and adjust plans as needed. 

Remember, the most important gifts you can offer during the holidays are your love, patience, and understanding. By embracing flexibility, prioritizing connection, and creating a supportive environment, you can make these occasions truly special for both you and your loved one. Cherish the moments, big and small, and remember that even amidst the challenges, the spirit of the holidays can shine brightly. 

Small Steps 👣 Big Results

💖 Self-Care 💖

OTHER TOPICS IN THIS ISSUE:

• Resource highlight: Well Spouse Assocation

• Self-care focus: The power of saying “No”

• Dear Christina: How can I travel with my mom’s memory loss?

RESOURCE HIGHLIGHT: Well Spouse Association

If it is your partner living with a chronic illness or disability, like memory loss, caregiving can feel isolating in specific ways. The Well Spouse Association (WSA) understands the unique challenges you face and provides a lifeline when you need it most. Through them you can find:

• Connection: Connect with others who understand your experiences through online and in-person support groups. (I do!)

• Resources: Access valuable information on caregiving, coping with emotions, navigating medical systems, and advocating for your loved one.

• Advocacy: The WSA advocates for policies that support caregivers and raises awareness about the challenges you face.

If you're feeling lost, alone, or simply need someone to talk to, the Well Spouse Association can be a source of comfort and strength. They offer a safe and supportive community where you can find understanding, resources, and hope.

To learn more, visit their website at https://wellspouse.org/. Please note that some resources are free, but many are for supporting members, with a current cost of $39 a year. I have found it very worth it!

Self Care: The power of saying “No”

Caregiving often feels like a never-ending to-do list. It's easy to feel overwhelmed and saying "no" can be a powerful act of self-care. 

It's natural to want to help everyone, but you can't pour from an empty cup. Saying "yes" to every request can leave you depleted and less able to provide quality care. 

Saying "no" doesn't make you selfish; it makes you human. It allows you to set boundaries, protect your energy, and prioritize your well-being. 

Here's how to embrace the power of "no": 

• Recognize your limits: Be honest about how much you can handle. 

• Say "no" with kindness: A simple, "Thank you, but I'm not able to commit to that right now" is often enough. 

• Prioritize your needs: Remember that self-care is essential. 

• Delegate: Ask for help from family, friends, or professionals. 

• Lean on support: Talk through what you are experiencing with your support circle or support groups. 

Learning to say "no" is a skill, but it's an investment in your well-being. By setting boundaries and prioritizing your needs, you can navigate caregiving with greater resilience and purpose. 

DEAR CHRISTINA: Traveling with loved ones with memory loss.

Dear Christina,

I hear everyone tell me to find joy and purpose in caregiving. I am just stressed and frustrated and don't know how to do that. Any ideas?

Eric

***************

Dear Eric, 

My heart goes out to you, Eric. It's so easy to feel lost in a sea of stress and frustration when you're caring for a loved one with memory loss. You are not alone in those feelings, no matter how lonely you may feel. The demands, the changes, and the weight of it all can make it hard to see the glimmers of joy and purpose that are still there. 

Please know it's okay to feel exactly as you do. Give yourself permission to grieve the changes, to feel angry at the unfairness, and to simply be exhausted. These emotions are a natural part of the caregiving journey. Finding healthy ways to express them – like journaling, talking to a trusted friend, or even just going for a walk – can help create space for joy to peek through. 

And while it might feel elusive right now, joy is still there. It might be hiding in the small victories and moments of connection with your loved one. A shared laugh, a quiet moment of understanding, or the satisfaction of helping your loved one accomplish a task – these can all bring a sense of purpose and remind you of the love that binds you together. 

Here are a few ideas to help you find those moments: 

• Reminisce together: Look through old photos, listen to favorite music, or share stories from the past. These activities can spark memories and create a sense of connection, even if your loved one's memory is impaired. 

• Engage in simple activities: Even everyday tasks like folding laundry, preparing a meal, or going for a walk can be opportunities for connection. Focus on the process, not the outcome, and enjoy the shared experience. 

• Celebrate small victories: Did your loved one remember a name? Successfully complete a puzzle? Express a feeling clearly? Acknowledge and celebrate these moments, no matter how small they may seem. 

• Find humor in the everyday: Laughter truly can be the best medicine. Look for moments of levity and find ways to share a smile or a laugh with your loved one. 

• Practice gratitude: Take time each day to appreciate the good things in your life, even amidst the challenges. Focus on the love you share with your loved one and the opportunity to make a difference in their life. 

• Prioritize self-care: Remember that taking care of yourself is not a luxury; it's a necessity. Make time for activities that bring you joy and rejuvenation, whether it's a walk in nature, a long bath, or connecting with supportive friends. 

Finding these moments of joy and connection can fuel your spirit and provide a sense of purpose amidst the challenges of caregiving. Remember, even small moments can have a big impact. And you are not alone on this journey, Eric. Reach out to others, find support, and know that your efforts are making a profound difference in the life of your loved one. 

 You are doing great Eric! Thank you for your honest question. ❤️ 

Additional Resources

• Link to the all-in-one guide: What I wish someone had told me when I became a caretaker.

• Caring for a multi-generational family? You might benefit from with the Elevate Your Child's Education with Confidence newletter.

• Click here to sign up for the LiveLong Newsletter, with weekly tips on how to increase longevity.

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• Questions or ideas for articles: [email protected] (We reserve the right to paraphrase “Dear Christina” questions for space)